Marina and Dr. Xu Jun were in Dhaka, the capital of Senegal, in early April 2017
Independent production of 'Realm' [Witness]
Text | Xu Jun
In these photos, you see a clear and happy soul without any pain. Marina, who was once a model and painter, underwent a complete change in her mental state. She emerged from the fog of depression, self pity, drugs, and lesbian destruction, filled with joy, ideals, and fulfilling emotions. She chose to stay in Africa for a long time to serve, trying to change it with the power of love. I envy her choice.
In 2014, when I went to the African jungle for medical services for the second time, there was a beautiful girl in the team. She had a slender figure of 1.85 meters, a pair of eyes like blue seawater, and spoke standard New York English. After a brief conversation, I thought she was just a naive girl exploring and traveling in Africa. Because the service was very busy, I didn't have the opportunity to communicate with her again afterwards.
It wasn't until 2017, when we met again in Africa and faced the death of Dr. Faye in a leprosy village together, that I truly understood what kind of girl she was after many deep conversations.
Marina in Dhaka, the capital of Senegal, in 2014
I'm going to kill you
In August 2017, on an island in Mozambique, Africa, the sun was still high in the sky, emitting an endless flame. Marina has just returned from a village. With hot weather and a lack of water and food, Marina walked wearily towards the campsite. Suddenly, a fierce and ferocious man holding an AK47 stopped Marina, his eyes emitting a fierce light.
What are you going to do? "Marina looked at him with frightened eyes, trembling all over.
I'm going to kill you! "The black man grabbed Marina's arm.
Marina knew what was about to happen next, and she suddenly calmed down without struggling. She just stared at him with her beautiful big eyes and gently said, "Who are you? Why are you doing this
I am a professional assassin, do you know that I only killed someone yesterday? I took out his heart, cut off his lungs, and even grilled his meat. You must come with me
"You know what? I won't be afraid of you." Marina bravely raised her head. "You also have brothers and sisters. If you kill me, you will always be a sinner. You will always bear the burden of a conscience!"
You, like me, are both sinners. Put down your weapons and let's confess our sins to God together! "Marina led this professional murderer to pray, and God's words made Marina fearless.
You go! Don't let me run into you again! "For some reason, the big man hesitated and waved his hand, letting her go.
Once, on the coast of Mozambique, Marina and Heidi Beck, the daughter of a British missionary born in China and a globally renowned missionary who came to Mozambique from California, were walking in a town when suddenly two burly black men blocked their way. The two of them hurriedly turned their heads and ran away. The ubiquitous danger kept them vigilant at all times, but now it was noon and there were bad people under the scorching sun? Can they escape today?
They panicked and gasped for breath, silently praying in their hearts for God's salvation. Suddenly, a jeep flew to a stop beside them, and it turned out to be their colleague and bodyguard. They got Marina and Heidi Becra into the car and drove away as if flying.
Marina doesn't know how many times she has encountered such danger? Marina's mother begged her to leave Africa, but she stubbornly refused. Whoever knows fear and subdues it, whoever faces the abyss with pride, has determination. Whoever gazes at the abyss with eagle eyes and picks up the cliff with eagle claws has the courage. Because she knows that there are the sprouts of her life in Africa, and she needs the sunshine there to give her strength and nurture her growth. What is the reason that caused a flower girl to leave her parents and travel to Africa?
Girls' Generation, Model Career
When Marina was five years old, she set sail from Brazil with her biological mother and adoptive father and secretly entered the United States under the thick night sky. Little did Marina know, her life underwent tremendous changes from then on.
My mother worked tirelessly to clean every inch of the floor in the house, while my adoptive father braved the sun and wore stars to lay tiles on the walls. Low wages and multiple forms of exploitation make them live at the bottom of the world. Their longing burns like a raging fire in their hearts, when will they be able to get a green card? Which day will their daughter live a happy life?
Marina, who is not ignorant of the world, lives in the cradle of happiness weaving. She dances tap dance and sings the nursery rhyme of the Little Mermaid with the children from Stanford, Connecticut, bidding farewell to her brilliant childhood and youth. In high school, she was the main attacker of the school volleyball team for high jump kills, and she was also a skilled rower in the wind and waves. My mother does cleaning in a wealthy household, and the whole family also lives in a luxurious house that the owner allows them to live in for free.
In high school, at home in Stanford, Connecticut
In her first year of high school, a talent scout discovered her elegant temperament and slender legs. He coaxed and deceived Marina, swearing to the heavens, and brought her to Manhattan to enter a modeling school. For a moment, the skirt was stained with wine, the golden pearl was struck, and a bunch of sycophantic sorghum dandies fell under her beautiful long dress.
During my modeling career in Manhattan
Marina has an instinctive disgust towards these people. When she was a child, she silently endured those inappropriate touches with shock and fear. Later, she was subjected to more violations. Whenever she thought of those dirty hands, she shuddered and trembled all over. She shouted "no, no!" many times, but in return, it intensified. She didn't even like these filthy men.
Shortly after, her artistic talent was discovered and she was admitted to the prestigious art school of Parsons in New York. While showcasing her beautiful demeanor on the runway, she leaped high and jumped into the ocean of art. She collects fragrance everywhere and excavates the sweet spring of inspiration. Her works are exhibited time and time again, and the whole world unfolds towards her. Life is so beautiful, and the feelings of a young girl fly in the sky with her thoughts.
At The New School Parsons in New York
Falling into the web of lust and drugs
Under the bright sunshine, there are also bitter winds and rains, and dark clouds come like wild beasts towards this silent Kangnai chime. One day, Marina felt uncomfortable in her lower abdomen and went to the clinic of an obstetrician and gynecologist in Manhattan. A female doctor, with a gentle and tender touch, touched her body. A soft and powerless word, accompanied by a vague echo, aroused a deep longing in her soul.
This is my address. Can you come to my house tonight
Marina had never felt such attraction in women before, and the long hidden memories in her heart awakened. She hated men, she hated men! She nodded involuntarily, recalling her experiences as a young girl.
A pink bed sheet, two hearts pounding. Suddenly, a small piece of paper, filled with white powder, she lowered her head and sucked on this shiny fairy tale, a wave of joy rushing straight to her brain!
Since then, poor Marina has been addicted to homosexuality and drugs. She spends her days thinking about being with those lesbian women and enjoying the happiness she never imagined! She quickly neglected her studies, became listless, lacked ambition, and her grades plummeted like a roller coaster.
Marina suffered an even greater blow. Soon, the mother discovered her daughter's secret and took her to a beautiful mountain peak. Pointing to the lush maple leaves, she said to her:
Child, your future life will be like a lush forest covering the mountains and fields! Would you mind not interacting with those people
Her mother's tears made her feel lost, and she made up her mind to leave them. But as soon as she returned to school, the heart pounding sweet words came uninvited. She indulged in the gentle and wealthy land, unable to break free from the web woven by desire and medicine. She was like a fish jumping in vain on a waterless embankment.
Mom's tearful pleading did not change her mind. Her parents worked hard to support their daughter's education, but they never expected such a thing to happen. My mother prayed and prayed, but she couldn't shake her altered notes. If going to art school had such a result, it would be better not to study. Mom has decided not to pay for her tuition anymore and wants to force her to leave this environment as soon as possible.
Without an economic source, Marina is unwilling to give in. She seizes every opportunity to showcase her charm on the T-shaped stage, but the money earned from her sore feet and back pain is far from enough to buy drugs. She, desperate from hunger and cold, found a piece of white cloth and stretched out a pure and flawless circle, piercing circles of painful black nails in her pure life. "It's this society that has turned me into this!" she exclaimed in pain!
Marina's work: Untitled, expressing the pain deep in her heart
Marina's self portrait, from her eyes we can see deep despair
Marina wanted to cry but had no tears. She cut open her wrist, and blood flowed out like a spring, soaking the carpet of the room. She was rescued, but when she needed friends the most, her same-sex partner and friends never appeared again. From then on, her eyes were no longer bright and captivating, and a pair of bright eyes revealed despair and darkness. Oh my god, what should I do? Why is the fate of life so cruel to me
I lived at Pastor Rosalia's mother's house for 6 years
Marina flew back to Brazil in anger without telling her mother. She was going to find her grandparents, who owned a farm that was her dream paradise. She wants to escape this painful reality, she wants to use art to cultivate herself, and forever forget the nightmares of New York. In the vineyard of her grandparents, there are rows of paths and rows of trees, with tall horses blowing their noses, the clear light of sunrise and sunset, the fragrance of soil, the cold well water, and the pleasure of barefoot contact with the earth. Everything makes her intoxicated. She wants to blend into the earth like Van Gogh, touch the streams like Gauguin, and turn into light and shadow like Monet. Perhaps this is her life? Perhaps she will live a reclusive life like Thoreau here for the rest of her life? She tried to numb herself with art.
Marina is on her grandfather's farm
But her pain is like those nails, constantly etching her soul. The pain of life, others cannot understand her, she has no friends, she doesn't know what she wants? How should she spend her life? Her hand tried to reach for the drugs again, and she wanted to forget everything while swallowing the mist. Why is her life so painful? She wants to go back to New York again, maybe the school can give her a new student.
However, fate once again revealed its cruel side to her. "Miss, you sneaked into the United States and our investigation revealed your criminal record. From now on, you cannot go to the United States for at least ten years
The cold words of the American consul raised shivers in her heart. She cried and laughed in a daze, shouting at the US consul, 'I'm going to see my mom!' But it was already too late for her to go see her mom. Her mom was also an illegal immigrant and couldn't leave the US to come to Brazil to see her.
Step by step, a small window became the abyss that separated her from her mother. The American consul said coldly again, "Miss, I advise you not to make any more trouble. If you cry again, I will write another note. You will never be able to set foot on American soil
She ran away from home and wandered aimlessly on the street, wondering, 'Where is home? Where is the journey home?' She thought of death, and once again thought that under that cold soil, there might not be so much pain or so many heart wrenching experiences. Desperate cries, tears streaming down her face, helpless in relieving her burning pain.
Miss, where are you going? "Said a kind and amiable aunt. Later, Marina found out that her name was Rosalia, and she stopped Marina, who was lost in thought.
Don't worry about me, the place I'm going has nothing to do with you! "Marina's cold expression, resolute attitude, and disdainful look made Rosalia feel hellish fear. Marina had been staring at the abyss for a long time, and the abyss finally looked back at her. Marina mechanically followed Rosalia home step by step, she didn't know where she would take her? She doesn't care, death is her ultimate destination. Is she still afraid of this old lady?
A solemn and simple cross hangs on the white wall, and a rudimentary dormitory is filled with love. Marina looked at the cross with hatred. She once looked up at the gloomy sky, lowered her head and gazed down at the rushing water of the Paran á River, and let out a long cry with her heart: "Lord, I have been searching for you so hard. Where were you when I was in the most difficult time
When I was at my wit's end, why didn't God save me? Why did he let me fall into drugs and homosexuality? Why isn't he letting me go back to America to see my mom now? Ten years, I have to wait for ten years, who can wait so long without seeing my mom? Now, God, you're coming to find me again? I don't love you anymore! "Actually, Marina Marina has been going to church with her mom since childhood and was once entrusted to God by her mom. Now she resolutely and stubbornly no longer looks up at the cross.
Rosalia is a pastor of a church in S ã o Paulo, and God's love keeps her from giving up on this suffering soul. She grabbed Marina's hand and whispered, 'Child, I won't let you leave me. Please tell me about your troubles!'
Rosalia's mother's love opened her eyes and she said, "You who are blessed by my father, come and inherit the kingdom that has been prepared for you since the creation of the world. Because I am hungry, give me food; when I am thirsty, give me drink; when I am a guest, stay with me." Marina's life underwent a huge change. Now she finally has the answer, the Lord is by her side. She no longer needs drugs, and she has also abandoned the temptation of homosexuality. At the moment when Marina finally walked towards hell, she found a warm home, a home that brought her life and had the ultimate hope. She lived at Rosalia's mother's house for six years.
She eagerly read God's word again, like a lost prodigal who had been lost for many years, returning to her father's warm embrace. She got in touch with her mother in the United States, and with her mother's support, she entered the St. Paul's Theological Seminary to study. The sweet love of the Heavenly Father made her never want to leave again. My mother's hard work finally led her onto the right path.
Marina and Rosalia's mother
Abandon everything and choose to stay in Africa for the long term
In 2014, with the support of Pastor Nielsen, she came to Senegal to work with me and serve the villagers in a leprosy village. She distributed medicines for us, worked as a translator, and took care of patients. I didn't know she had such a tragic experience at the time, I just thought she was just a beautiful ordinary volunteer worker.
The trip to Africa opened her eyes to the fact that there are still so many people living in misery in Africa and around the world who need her help. Marina began a diligent career of study at the seminary. The word of God finally revealed the source of her suffering, which was all 'sin' and 'selfish desires'. People say that the setting sun is the end of the world, but looking far away, one cannot see home.
On the path of life, there are many meaningless things that block people's eyes, such as money desires, fame and status, emotional happiness. Everyone has different interpretations, and many people have devoted their entire lives to pursuing these things, only to end up with a 'void'. Now Marina knows what she needs, which is the pursuit of the meaning of life, to provide true joy to those who are poor from the bottom of their hearts to material possessions.
On May 21, 2017, Marina graduated with a master's degree from the S ã o Paulo Theological Seminary, studying for a total of five years
Marina experienced the scorching sun of a leprosy village with my team in Africa in April this year. Faced with the separation and death of Dr. Faye ("One Dollar" Doctor Faye: I hope to die on the battlefield like a soldier), she cried and her indomitable soul finally sublimated. Marina is determined to head towards Africa, bidding farewell to the past with a heart full of joy. What kind of modeling career, artistic life is just a flower in a dream, as for homosexuality, drugs only bring about a series of illusions. She is the daughter of heaven, and she must be down-to-earth, contributing everything to her father in heaven and rescuing the people of Africa.
We left the leprosy village and, after 16 hours of turbulence, returned to our base in Dhaka. Dr. Faye's voice and smile still flickered in front of us, tears rolling down her face before she could dry them. Marina found me, and the sunset turned red on her cheeks. Her bright eyes sparkled with a hint of shyness. Dr. Xu, can your foundation support me to come to Africa? I want to stay in Africa for a long time
My heart was shocked, the raging waves of mountains and tsunamis surging in my heart. As a man, I have to admit that I cannot escape the temptation of the world to me. Although I have a family and my own career, I have enjoyed many gifts from God that I do not deserve. I have not yet made up my mind to stay in Africa for a long time.
I can't imagine how an artist as beautiful as jade, a Manhattan model as poetic as water, or a girl who hasn't experienced the joy of family yet can abandon all of this and give up their artistic dreams to come to Africa? How can she survive in this dangerous Africa? I said to her, "Tell me your plan, why are you doing this? You don't need to take the risk of coming here at all
This is fate, 'I tell you the truth, when you were young, you tied yourself up and walked around freely; but when you were old, you had to stretch out your hand, and someone else would tie you up and take you to a place you didn't want to go. "She casually quoted a famous passage from the Bible, referring to the fate of Peter, the great disciple of Jesus Christ. I am still young, and I am willing to do so
What will you do if you start a family and a career in the future? "I finally expressed my concern.
I accept God's arrangement. If there is a man in my life who shares the same aspirations as me, I will gladly accept it. I am willing to dedicate my life to the people of Africa with him. If not, it's okay! "Tears glistened in her eyes.
This is God's call, I have no right to refuse. My brother and I, who went to Africa together, immediately decided that in 2017, the 'Crying in Africa' Foundation and he would each provide half of the funding to support her. We will come up with a solution for the future funding.
Misunderstood and humiliated, still love
As soon as she graduated in May 2017, Marina immediately took a plane to Mozambique in Africa, a poor country with a per capita income of only $434. She is going to join Heidi Beck, a renowned social philanthropist and missionary's non-profit organization, Alice Global Action, and dedicate herself wholeheartedly to the people of Africa. But at Recife International Airport in Brazil, Marina was subjected to a senseless humiliation, almost giving up on her ideals.
Why did you go through Cape Verde to Mozambique? "An exit prosecutor repeatedly examined Marina's passport and looked at her with suspicious eyes. Cape Verde is a famous erotic prostitution paradise in West Africa, where many French and Brazilian girls go to sell their bodies. Marina wants to change planes there and go to Mozambique.
I'm going to work at Alice Global Action, I'm just passing through there Marina answered calmly.
Would you volunteer in Mozambique? "The prosecutor didn't believe Marina at all, a beautiful white girl would go there to work.
Sorry, miss, you cannot leave the country! We think you may go to Cape Verde for prostitution! Miss, you have been detained
The plane flew away, and Marina's heart shattered. With her unparalleled independence, she exchanged her passion for a heart chilling coldness. Without success, years of planning have turned into a green smoke. A mother far away in the United States saw her daughter's red eyes on Whatsup and couldn't help but cry. The WiFi signal at the airport was poor, with intermittent sound, causing Marina's heart to flow down like water droplets from the Iguazu Falls in Brazil, splashing high and falling heavily onto the hard rocks. Marina did not have an American identity or a credit card, so she begged Pastor Nielsen to borrow the church's credit card and immediately purchased a plane ticket directly to Maputo International Airport in Mozambique at a high price. After four hours of trial and error, she was able to take off again.
Not long after she entered Mozambique, she encountered the thrilling scene described at the beginning of this article, and her life was often in critical condition. I can't imagine how Marina adjusted herself to adapt to that fiery and dangerous life.
Have you not thought about yourself by doing this? You have dedicated your best time to the people of Africa. With limited choices in Africa, you may not meet a beloved person. Spending these times in Africa may not give you anything. Have you considered it? "I asked her anxiously.
In this world, there is nothing greater than giving love, "her answer was concise and powerful.
My eyes are moist. A truly successful life is not about achievement and status, nor about money and fame, but about cherishing the time that flies through our eyes and fingers, living out the self that gives love, and walking the path of love. We don't need to be remembered, as long as we add bricks and tiles to the project of love and shout out the strong voice of love, it is true life. Striving for a better life for oneself and one's family is just a small stream of love that may dry up accidentally. Giving to change the lives of others is a sea of love, where every drop of water shines brightly under the sunshine.
Marina currently lives in Mozambique and faces different difficulties and dangers every day. My mother Valerie and I often stay in touch in Connecticut. She worries about her daughter's safety every day and can't sleep at night if we don't get in touch. I understand my mother's heart, especially in such a dangerous place. I am now sending a few photos of her here, let's pray together for her safety and life.
Marina is with the local indigenous people and they don't have water. Marina often takes a shower every 3-4 days
Marina often goes to places like this to help the local people
Marina eats with her hands like the local people
Marina and local colleagues used canoes to deliver daily necessities to the island
There are no toilets on the island, the hole at the back is a toilet, which will be buried with soil after use
Marina with disabled children
Marina helped organize a summer camp for over 700 children
Marina and Chinese Christian co-workers together
Marina told me that all of her students are artistic geniuses
Crying and praying for the African people
I envy her choice
In these photos, what you see is a clear and happy soul, without any pain. Marina's mental state underwent a complete change, as she emerged from the fog of depression, self pity, drugs, and lesbian destruction. She was filled with joy, ideals, and fulfilling emotions. She stood on the peak of human thought, overlooking this lost and disillusioned world, trying to change it with the power of love. I envy her choice, feel grateful for my participation in her ministry, and feel ashamed of my own weakness.
In this world, there are three types of people: some people are filled with hatred in their hearts. They can drive trucks and charge towards strangers, or use automatic rifles to indiscriminately shoot at gatherings. Such people are destined to be nailed to the pillar of shame in history and despised by others; The second type, like Marina, is full of love, dedicating love and youth to the poor people in Africa and the world who are strangers to each other. Such people will inevitably become objects of learning and admiration for everyone; The third type may be people like me, who treat love with indifference and prioritize their own family. Seeing a hero like Marina, they are only moved for a while and then pass away.
In fact, each and every one of us has received blessings from society and some individuals during our growth process. We can repay some grace, but we cannot repay every individual who has shown us kindness. What we can do is to give back to this society. Like Marina, it's our duty to save a child, and if we save ten or eight, we make a profit. The more we earn from this kind of ministry, the better! I hope we can all gradually transition from the third category to the second category. Our love, like a drop of water, gathers in the torrent of love and will never dry up. I hope everyone remembers that every day without giving love is a waste of life!
Come on, my friend,
Don't shrink back,
Go down to the hard ground.
Don't collect dreams in the dim light.
A storm is brewing in the sky,
Lightning strikes our soul dreams.
Let's step down into an ordinary life.
——Tagore
I am constantly thinking, what virtues and abilities do I possess? But God has placed me in such a position: I can connect Eastern and Western cultures, introduce charitable volunteers and missionaries from all over the world to Chinese people around the world, and convey the love of Chinese people around the world to the people of Africa. Let's build missionary training centers in Africa, support missionaries, and build hospitals and schools. I go to Africa every year, and I will go again on February 22, 2018. I will meet many heroes again, and I will continue to introduce these great colleagues to the Chinese world, so that our souls can sublimate together, forge ourselves in the flames of love, and serve the people of Africa.
If you want to support and participate in African ministry, you can contact Dr. Xu Jun on WeChat: jun9174343767， E-mail africacriesout@gmail.com Visit www.Africacriesout.org and you can see all of their work in Africa
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